01 / THE SAME ARGUMENT
Different days.
The same painful loop.
One of you pushes to talk. The other pulls away. Both end up feeling misunderstood, and nothing quite gets resolved.
Attachment-based couples counseling
Marin County & the Bay Area
Find your way
back to each other.
You care about your family. Your relationship deserves care, too. I help parents move through the patterns that keep them apart and build a more connected life together.
Start with a consultation20 minutes for you. 20 minutes for your partner.
Point Reyes · Marin County
Hi, I’m Todd Sarner.
Marriage & Family Therapist
17 years working exclusively with parents.
When parenting takes over
Somewhere along the way,
you lost the feeling of “us.”
You may work well together on the practical things and still feel far apart. Or the everyday decisions about your children have become the place where deeper hurt comes out. You don’t have to know how to fix it before you reach out.
Different days.
02 / THE DISTANCE
So much to manage.
So little connection.
The calendar gets your attention. Affection, friendship, and intimacy keep getting pushed to the edges of family life.
03 / THE PARENTING DIVIDE
You love your children.
You sometimes disagree on how to parent.
Differences about limits, behavior, or who carries the load leave you feeling criticized, undermined, or alone.
A deeper way to work
Change the pattern.
Strengthen the bond.
Attachment-based counseling helps us understand what happens when connection feels uncertain. We work with the emotions underneath the argument and the reactions that make it hard to reach each other.
My approach brings that understanding together with practical attention to regulation: how you steady yourself and help each other feel safer when emotions run high.
Explore my approach ↗01
Understand the disconnection
Recognize the cycle you get caught in and the attachment needs underneath it.
02
Find steadier ground
Notice escalation and shutdown earlier, and practice responding with more awareness.
03
Build trust in everyday moments
Make room for repair, closeness, and a more supportive partnership as parents.
Meet Todd Sarner, MFT
I work only with parents.
That makes a difference.
For 17 years, my work has focused exclusively on parents. I understand that your relationship does not happen apart from the rest of family life. Exhaustion, parenting differences, your children’s needs, and your own stress all come into the room.
I trained with Dr. Sue Johnson in Emotionally Focused Therapy and studied for many years with Dr. Stan Tatkin in PACT. As Director of Transformative Parenting, I also bring a deep understanding of the parent-child relationship.
Get to know me ↗Getting started
Room for both of your perspectives.
Right from the beginning.
- 1
A conversation with each of you
I begin with one 20-minute consultation for each partner, separately. You each have space to share your perspective and ask questions.
- 2
Consider the fit, together
You get a sense of how I work, and I consider whether my approach is well suited to what you need. We also discuss fees and scheduling.
- 3
Begin together, online
If we agree it is a good fit, we arrange an initial couples session and begin working toward goals that matter to both of you.
Real connection. Online.
Meaningful work.
A little less life logistics.
I used to decline online couples work because I questioned whether it could be as effective. Better technology, the convenience for parents, and my experience doing the work changed my mind.
I now work entirely online and have found that sessions can be just as powerful. If you prefer meeting in person, I respect that preference.
What online sessions are like ↗A place to begin
Let’s see if we’re a good fit.
A separate 20-minute conversation with each partner.